Submitted by Kelly Sarber
Dec. 5, 1934 – April 27,2026
Phyllis Nelson Sarber, 91, affectionately known as Phyl, was a beloved Coronado local for more than 68 years who quietly led a life defined by kindness and generosity in her self-appointed role as “connector” to an overlapping ecosystem of thousands of friends, family and real estate clients. Phyl was a community benefactor and quiet philanthropist, whose selfless giving left a lasting mark on those she touched, all while never seeking recognition and avoiding the limelight. Her contagious southern accent, quick wit and loving spirit transformed many lives, leaving behind a legacy of character by those lucky enough to be touched by her orbit.
Born on Dec. 5, 1934 in the small town of Benton in Western Kentucky, Phyl grew up working at the soda fountain in her family’s Rexall drugstore before attending the University of Kentucky in Louisville. Prior to graduating, Phyl and her two friends, Katsy and Cece, were recruited to teach elementary school in what they were told was a “fast-growing military town somewhere in Southern California.” The three debutantes made a leap of faith in driving across country to arrive in 1956 by ferry to what was an “enchanted, little island” that became her cherished home. Phyl always spoke about her dream to “live in a small town, by the water with perfect weather next to a big city” and her intuition immediately told her Coronado was “love at first sight.”
The three young women launched their new lives in a tiny, two-bedroom, one bath home (recently demolished on H Ave) in what was a hotbed of aviators and SEALS attracted to the promise of a nation celebrating a post-WWII economic boom, technological advances and cultural optimism. Imagine these southern belles immersing themselves in Coronado’s lush setting that was charged and unique with promise. Dances at the Officer’s Club on North Island followed by tacos and drinks at the Mexican Village, with a lot of potential suitors competing for dates. While out with another man, she met John Sarber and may not have felt “love at first sight” when she saw him being led out the door by Navy police called in to break up a fight between pilots and frogmen. Imagine her surprise when introduced to John on a blind date later that week. Anyone who knew John, wasn’t surprised when he wowed her over and they started dating soon thereafter, getting married in early 1957, followed soon by Katsy marrying John’s roommate, Ben.
In less than four years, John and Phyl welcomed Kurt, Brant and Kelly, soon moving into what became the family’s long-time home on Tolita Avenue near the beach. The close-knit, laid-back lifestyle meant bucolic days, bringing up the children with friends, while the family’s life revolved around the Hotel Del, beaches and local sports. Weekly house parties were the norm, with music and BBQ’s cementing a growing gang of friends with their children that lasted her lifetime. Her kids enjoyed their independence and freedom, and, while John worked, Phyl became a proficient tennis player and socializer. With her husband a SEAL, the family’s vacations consisted of camping and boating with a wide range of friends with Phyl being a good sport and usually participating. One of her favorite quotes was she considered herself outdoorsy, since she liked to sit on the porch watching sunset with a glass of wine.
By 1969, Coronado’s lifestyle was irrevocably changed with the bridge replacing the ferry and Molly being born to the Sarber mix. Like many mothers in the 1970’s, Phyl craved a career, and decided to go to school and get her real estate license, never realizing at the time that she would become one of the most successful realtors in Coronado. Over the five decades that she worked in Coronado real estate, Phyl made a point of being an honest businesswoman coupled with patience devoted to finding the right property. She never thought of marketing herself; she was authentic and rooted in connecting socially and emotionally with her clients, many who bought and sold properties from Phyl over the decades. Because she had a soft spot in her heart for people new to Coronado, she wanted them to make sure they felt at home. Buyers or sellers never felt that they were not just transacting on a property, but they were being welcomed to a community, since Phyl curated her network to introduce new friendships that ushered in a sense of belonging for her clients. When she decided to retire and wrote a goodbye letter announcing such, she was deluged with lifetime clients stating that she couldn’t leave yet, prompting a follow-up letter that the “news of her retirement had been grossly exaggerated.”
Over six decades in Coronado, Phyl pursued many hobbies, some based in her deep spiritual curiosity. For more than fifteen years, Monday nights were spent with her Miracles book club, where Phyl was considered a mentor and living example for devotees to A Course in Miracles. Her social life with John was always busy, with Tuesday nights at Coronado Yacht Club, Crown Club dances, the Rebels, Junior League, Concerts in the Park, the Coronado Historical Association plus bridge and Rummikub.
Phyl balanced her family obligations with her strong work ethic and social life, with her children and grandchildren always being a priority. She felt fortunate that her youngest son, Brant, never lived more than four blocks away, with her other children moving back to Coronado to be closer. She considered Covid a positive, because the bubble of family ended up spending so much time together with Phyl’s home life filled with laughter, food and family during the quarantine.
Phyl loved that Coronado’s beach was mostly how it was when she got here, that the neighborhoods retained a warm and inviting ambiance and that residents and tourists alike still appreciated the small-town character that Phyl loved and protected. She never complained and always focused on the positive.
John was married to Phyl for almost 50 years before he died in 2006 with Brant dying unexpectedly in 2022. Phyl Sarber is survived by her children Kurt, Kelly and Molly and her grandkids, Grayson, Emily, Michael, Riley and McKenzy. In lieu of flowers, the Sarber’s request donations to the C4 (Charlie Keating) Foundation — info@C4Foundation.org which provide resources and support available nowhere else to active-duty Navy SEALs and their families.
