It’s been 10 years in the making; a story about fictional adventures, real life lessons, non-fiction existentialism and finding your chosen family.
Coronado author Ann Bancroft’s first book, “Almost Family,” comes out May 28 and is nothing short of 10 years of dedication and insights told through three fictional characters living with terminal illnesses.
Bancroft has lived a life worth telling, which The Coronado News documented, and even though this book is not about her life, she did go through what the main character experienced—cancer.
“Not about cancer”
“Almost Family” seems like it’s about cancer—it starts off that way—but it builds into something entirely different.
But Bancroft knows cancer.
She was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008, beat the disease and then it came back again in 2021.
Bancroft beat it again and is now in remission.
“Cancer is such a big thing,” Bancroft says. “A lot of people will look at you or one with cancer and that’s all they see.”
Having gone through it twice, Bancroft knows how the disease can become a person’s only identity—and she doesn’t want the same for her book.
“It’s not about cancer,” she insists.
Bancroft had a vague idea of what she wanted to tackle when she started drafting this book, but she said it became what it was as she wrote it.
Hard conversations
“At the beginning I wanted to create these characters that shared the diagnosis, that wanted to keep living and having fun despite their diagnoses,” she says. “And they didn’t want to sit around in a depressing support group.”
The characters started to come alive in her head. She would make herself write a couple hours every morning, whether or not she had an idea.
Bancroft realized this wasn’t a plot-driven book, it was character-driven.
And she wanted the characters to go through something very real, and to tackle very real conversations.
Our own mortality is not something we’re encouraged to think about.
Ann Bancroft
“This culture is not real good about talking about death or dying,” Bancroft says. “Our own mortality is not something we’re encouraged to think about.”
People will still be afraid of death—it’s the unknown—but she wants people to be able to accept the reality.
Being with somebody who’s dying is really a very special spiritual experience. It’s not to be feared.
Ann Bancroft
“I wanted people to be comfortable thinking and talking about dying and death and what that means,” Bancroft says. “Because being with somebody who’s dying is really a very special spiritual experience. It’s not to be feared.”
To her, death is a spiritual experience, but dealing with someone who is dying or coming to terms with death in your own life does not mean they, or you, suddenly become a saintly person.
There’s a difference between accepting death and being with somebody who is dying.
“I think if everybody did live with more of a consciousness that we are mortal and life is not forever, that we’d have a better world,” Bancroft says.
She quickly adds with a laugh that someone can go through grief and a few days later be flipping off another motorist in traffic.
“It’s just the fact of having something bad happening to you doesn’t make you a brave or special or saintly person,” she quips. “You can still be a jerk.”
Chosen family
Bancroft says she didn’t draw a lot from her personal life, and this story is exactly that—just a made-up story with made-up characters and made-up personalities.
However, the main character goes through something Bancroft encountered in her own life as well. It’s the idea of sharing a powerful experience with someone who she never thought she would have been friends with before.
Bancroft had mentored cancer patients in the past and she recalls making close friends with people from all different backgrounds, cultures and ages.
“When you see somebody who’s very vulnerable and share some of that experience with them,” Bancroft says. “Some women who I would have never have otherwise been friends with…probably gave me the idea of putting these very different characters together and having them become close friends.”
And that ties into the book title of “Almost Family.”
The word “family” has so many meanings: joined by blood, marriage or adoption. Or people who love each other unconditionally, despite faults. Or those who share a special connection and choose to support each other.
Bancroft wanted her book to show that one can find family in the most unexpected people.
The themes of life in death and family in strangers are deep, powerful topics wrapped in humor that sometimes turns dark, she says, but nevertheless are conversations that need to be had.
It can’t get much more powerful than death unless it’s birth, right?
Ann Bancroft
“It can’t get much more powerful than death unless it’s birth, right?” Bancroft says.
Bancroft will have a book launch event at the Winn Room on May 30 at 4:30 p.m.
